I read this last Sunday and it really struck a chord with me. Thanks so much for sharing it. I lost my mum when I about 3 and then my dad when I was about 14. I don’t often talk about it with people and I’ve never really been able to articulate why… but this sentence absolutely nailed it for me - ‘neither Jack nor I tell it much to anyone else, perhaps because it sounds so sad that it feels like handing someone a thing they don’t know what to do with.’ It’s such a good way of putting it.
Hi Theo! I hope you’re good, I miss working with you. Thanks for reading, and for sharing :)
My first reaction when reading what you wrote was, “Oh, what a sad thing to keep secret.” But it’s not keeping a secret. It’s just that we don’t have the technology to speak about these things. I didn’t even really do it here: I wrote a one-way essay and then left it where people could find it so I wouldn’t have to say anything. But I can tell you that there’s been nothing but compassion back, and friends who are glad to know me better. So whenever you feel safe to share, with whoever, I think it’s always welcome.
Your reply also makes me think, how many people have we met who have something really hard in their past like that? Definitely more than we thought. And so maybe we should treat everyone as though they have. At some point they will.
Anyway, see you in the PM (who am I kidding? The Seven Stars) before long.
Hey James, hope you’re good.
I read this last Sunday and it really struck a chord with me. Thanks so much for sharing it. I lost my mum when I about 3 and then my dad when I was about 14. I don’t often talk about it with people and I’ve never really been able to articulate why… but this sentence absolutely nailed it for me - ‘neither Jack nor I tell it much to anyone else, perhaps because it sounds so sad that it feels like handing someone a thing they don’t know what to do with.’ It’s such a good way of putting it.
Anyway, I hope you’re doing well mate!
Theo
Hi Theo! I hope you’re good, I miss working with you. Thanks for reading, and for sharing :)
My first reaction when reading what you wrote was, “Oh, what a sad thing to keep secret.” But it’s not keeping a secret. It’s just that we don’t have the technology to speak about these things. I didn’t even really do it here: I wrote a one-way essay and then left it where people could find it so I wouldn’t have to say anything. But I can tell you that there’s been nothing but compassion back, and friends who are glad to know me better. So whenever you feel safe to share, with whoever, I think it’s always welcome.
And I think people get better at it as they get older. I have heard one really good conversation about parental death in childhood, a podcast between a poet I know and his friend. It’s a bit long, but you might like it: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-five-in-conversation-patrick-ryan-childhood/id1439646858?i=1000435302645
Your reply also makes me think, how many people have we met who have something really hard in their past like that? Definitely more than we thought. And so maybe we should treat everyone as though they have. At some point they will.
Anyway, see you in the PM (who am I kidding? The Seven Stars) before long.
James x